Fairy Tale Ending
by angel of evil
Summary: Ginny and Harry are happily married, but Malfoy is once again in love with Ginny. So he kidnaps her. So much for happily after ever. Sequel to Nothing Like A Fairy Tale. HG
1. The Return of Stupid Cupid

Disclaimer: Very funny.

Okay. The sequel to Nothing Like A Fairy Tale! If you haven't read that, go read it now or you will never understand anything in this story.

Now begins another completely random story with a very weird plot!

* * *

"James!" Lily screamed.

Me and Harry turned towards the yell.

That's right. Lily and James are now visible to everyone. Not alive, not dead.

I think.

It's a long, boring story that I don't feel like telling. Okay, not that long, but still pretty boring.

Make up your own story. I'm sure it'll be much more interesting than the truth.

I made up one too. It goes like this:

After Harry and I got married, which completed the Cinderella story that I stupidly wished my life was like, Lily and James just appeared. And some distant relative of mine, who happened to be dead, appeared too.

That scared the hell out of my family.

Turns out, Harry had a fairy godparent too.

I'm not sure if that happened in Cinderella, but whatever.

Okay. My made-up story is pretty boring. But it's still more interesting than the truth.

The truth is, Lily and James were visible the entire time. And no one said anything!

You'd think someone would say, "Hey. Aren't you dead?" or something like that. But no. Everyone ignores the walking dead.

If zombies come to eat our brains, we are so screwed.

Okay, I'm getting off track.

Lily was screaming at James.

What else is new?

"Why would you do that?" she yelled.

Whoa. The last time I saw her this mad was the time James pretended to be Cupid and made Malfoy fall in love with me.

Knowing James, he probably did it again.

I hope he didn't. Last time, Malfoy crashed my wedding, then stalked me for months.

Lily found the countercurse after a while. Thank God.

One of the best days of my life was the day after Lily found the countercurse. We were in Diagon Alley, and Malfoy walked up to us and said, "Well, well, well. Prince Potty and his Weasel Queen."

That actually once made sense, since Harry was a prince when I married him.

If anyone says I married him for his money, someone's going to get their ass kicked.

Anyway.

He's not a prince anymore. The Ministry decided that having princes was a Very Bad Idea.

So now, we live normal lives. Well, as normal as possible.

Which isn't all that normal because:

a) We're the Wizarding World's favorite couple.

b) Harry used to be a prince.

c) I used to be a princess.

d) Harry defeated Voldemort, which is another story I don't feel like telling. Make up your own.

e) Harry is the Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, and the savior of the Wizarding World.

and

f) Hello. We're famous. Since when do famous people get to live normal lives?

So, really, our life is anything but normal.

That's okay though. Normal would get boring.

Anyway.

Back to Lily and James.

"How could you be so stupid?" asked Lily.

"Mum? What did Dad do this time?" asked Harry.

Please, don't be anything involving Malfoy. Please, please, please.

"Why don't you tell them, James?"

Please, please, please.

"Well… I made Malfoy… fall in love with Ginny… with a different spell than last time."

Damn.

* * *

Well, what do you think? Good? Bad? Horrible? Worst thing you've ever read? 

Review!

-Jessi


	2. Insane Inlaws

Disclaimer: When hell freezes over.

I love all my reviewers! You guys rock!

Okay. Chapter Two!

* * *

Why? 

That's all I want to know. Why? Why was I cursed with such an insane in-law?

It's not enough for him to play Cupid once. Oh, no. Of course not. He has to do it again.

And why me? Does James not realize that I'm happily married? Couldn't he make Malfoy fall in love with Lavender Brown or something?

Maybe then she'd stop stalking Ron.

Which reminds me. Malfoy will start stalking me again.

Pregnant people should not have stalkers!

Sure, I just found out this morning, but I'm still pregnant.

"Um, Gin?" asked Harry. "Why did you just scream 'pregnant people should not have stalkers'?"

You know, he can be really stupid sometimes.

But, having met his dad, it doesn't seem that weird.

Wait a minute. I don't remember saying that out loud.

So...

I'm thinking out loud again.

Damn.

"Hang on a second, Harry," I said. "I need to have a word with my subconcious."

Harry just looked confused.

_Well, of course he looks confused. If he told you that he needed to have a word with his subconcious, wouldn't you be confused?_

Oh, shut up.

_Nah. I don't feel like it._

Why are you making me think out loud again?

_Don't worry. I'm only going to do that when it makes it easier for the author of this story._

What are you talking about?

_I told you before. Subconciouses are always right._

That didn't answer my question!

_Because I don't feel like answering your question._

I hate you.

_Good. Oh, I believe Harry still wants an answer to his question._

"Gin?" Harry asked.

"Sorry, Harry," I said. "Just talking to my subconcious."

"What?"

"You know. The voice in your head that everyone tries to ignore?"

"Um. Okay," Harry said. "You still haven't answered my question."

"Oh, right. I screamed that pregnant people shouldn't have stalkers because Malfoy is going to end up stalking me."

Harry still looked confused. So did James. Lily, on the other hand, looked lke she understood perfectly.

She probably does. I mean, she's Lily.

"Does that mean you're pregnant?" asked Harry.

I nodded.

All of a sudden, Harry had a huge smile on his face. "I'm gonna be a dad!" he said.

Lily looked angrier. "James, now Malfoy's going to be stalking Ginny while she's pregnant!

James looked scared. You'd think he wouldn't be afraid of his own wife, but no.

But really, you can't blame him. Lily is _scary _when she's mad.

Actually, you can blame him. This is all his fault anyway.

James gulped. "Lily, have I ever told you that you look adorable when you're angry?"

"Nice try," she said.

"Nice try? What are you talking about? What d'you mean, nice try? I wasn't trying anything!" James said quickly. Too quickly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "James, you say that exact same thing every time I'm mad."

"Ooops."

I started laughing. I don't know why. It just seemed so funny.

Lily, James, Malfoy, and Harry stared at me.

Wait. When did Malfoy get here?

"When did you get here, Ferret-Face?" I asked.

"I've been here, Ginerva. I've been here since Potty said that the Mudblood looked adorable when she's angry."

"Don't call her that!" I screamed. "And don't call me Ginerva!"

I pulled out my wand.

How _does _he keep ruining his hair? I thought I fixed it permantly.

"MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"

That is getting really old.

Seriously. He screams those exact same words every time a single hair falls out of place. The exact same words. Every single time.

You know, turning his hair red and gold is getting old too. I'll have to find something different to do.

Malfoy ran off our property.

"Well," I said. "It looks lke the stalking has began."

* * *

Review!.. 

...Please?

-Jessi


	3. When You Least Expect It, Expect It

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever! I had writer's block. And finals to study for. Oh, my computer crashed too.

Disclaimer: Ha ha. You're funny.

I love all my reviewers! You guys rock!

Woohoo! Storytime! Um... right.

* * *

All of a sudden, there was a flash of light that blinded me for a second. 

"What the bloody hell?" screamed James.

Lily looked very angry. And a bit weird. She was trying to glare a hole through a bush.

Wait a minute. There's a freaky looking guy with bushy green hair hiding behind the bush.

That explains the glaring.

And what is he holding? It looks like some kind of silver box with lights.

"It's a Muggle camera, Gin," said Harry.

"Is that what they use to take pictures that don't move?" James asked.

Harry nodded.

The green-haired guy looked confused. "What's a Muggle?"

Crap.

There's a Muggle on our property.

That we don't know.

Taking pictures of us.

For no apparent reason.

This has James written all over it.

Lily thought so too.

"What did you do now?" she asked James in her quiet-but-deadly, if-you-don't-explain-yourself-right-now-your-death-will-be-a-lot-more-painful-than-I'm-planning voice.

That voice scares everyone.

I'll bet it could scare Voldemort. If he was, you know, still alive.

I can see it now: Voldemort cowers in a corner while Lily talks to him.

You now what? That is totally my version of how Voldemort died. He committed suicide because he was so afraid of Lily.

Anyway.

James gulped. "Lily, have I ever told you that you look adorable when you're angry?"

"Dad, didn't you say that exact same thing not even five minutes ago?" asked Harry.

"Dammit," said James.

"James," Lily said. "What did you do?"

"Um... It's a very weak love spell that I wanted to test. Don't worry! I know the countercurse!"

James pulled out his wand. "_End-o spell-o_," he said, pointing his wand at the weird guy.

And, of course, nothing happened.

Why am I not surprised?

"James," Lily said. "You don't know the countercurse, do you?"

"Um..."

All of a sudden, the weird guy saw me, screamed, "My love!", ran to me, and hugged me.

This isn't right. I wished for my life to be like Cinderella's without all the misery. If I remember correctly, Cinderella lived happily ever after as soon as she married her prince.

I married my prince already.

So what the hell happened to happily ever after?

"Get him off of me!" I screamed.

I thought this was a weak love spell. Even Malfoy didn't hug me.

James is so dead.

Which reminds me. If this guy doesn't stop hugging me soon, _I'm_ gonna be dead. He's suffocating me.

Suddenly the guy stopped hugging me.

James looked pleased with himself. "I _told_ you that _End-o spell-o_ was the countercurse. It just takes a while to work."

The green-haired guy looked confused. "Um... _Why_ was I just hugging you?"

"I don't know," I said. "Must have something to do with the fact that I'm so cute."

Conceited, yes. But maybe it'll make him go away.

"You're a very conceited person," the green-haired guy said.

"I'm not conceited. I am just honest," I said.

Is this working yet?

The green-haired guy laughed.

Crap.

My plan backfired. He seems to like conceited people.

"You're conceited, but you have good comebacks. Do you want to go on a date with me?"

Um, I don't think the countercurse worked that great.

"I'm married," I said.

The green-haired guy glared at me. "I hate it when people lie to me so that they don't hurt my feelings. How do you think I feel now?"

"But I _am_..."

"If you didn't want to go out with me, you could have just said so, instead of lying to me."

I turned to Harry for help.

"Um... she is married," he said.

"Yeah, right. And I'm the queen of England," the green-haired guy said.

"You are?" asked James.

Idiot.

"James, it's called sarcasm," Lily explained.

"Ohhhhhh!" he said.

"If you are married, where's your husband?" the green-haired guy asked.

I pointed to Harry. "He's my husband," I said.

The green-haired guy laughed. "Like _you_ could get a guy like that," he said.

Hey! What's that supposed to mean!

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" asked Harry.

"I wasn't talking to you," green-haired guy said.

Uh-oh. He seems angry again.

"I will get my revenge on you! I don't know when and I don't know where, but when you least expect it, expect it."

I rolled my eyes.

That was so lame. I mean seriously. Revenge? Yeah, right. A Muggle's gonna get revenge on a witch.

I'd like to see that happen.

"You think it's stupid, girl?" green-haired guy asked. "Well, you'll curse the day you met Fat Bob."

Um, who the hell is Fat Bob?

"I'm Fat Bob," said the green-haired guy.

Um, what? He's not fat.

"It's one of those ironic nicknames," he explained. "You know, like if someone calls a midget Big Earl or something?"

Okay. That's just weird.

Fat Bob ran away.

You know, that was kinda lame. And telling us his name made him even less threatening.

Seriously, it's very hard to be afraid of someone named Fat Bob.

Then, Malfoy appeared again.

"I'll get him for threatening you, my love!" he said. "You don't have to be afraid, Ginerva! Although, _I_ would be if some crazy guy was following _me_ around."

He'd be afraid of a crazy guy following him around?

Weird. He doesn't seem to have a problem when it's him doing the stalking.

"The only thing you should be afraid of is what will happen to you if you keep stalking me," I said.

"I'm not stalking you," Malfoy claimed. "I'm trying to convince you to leave your loser husband and marry me!"

Okay. Did _Malfoy_, a guy that won't stop stalking me, just call _Harry_, the most wonderful husband on Earth, a _loser_?

"OWWWWWWW!" Malfoy screamed.

I lost control for a little while, but I'm good now.

And Malfoy looks better with a broken nose.

And he didn't scream something about his "beautiful" face getting messed up. He screamed "ow" like a normal person.

"I'll get you for that, Ginerva! I'll get revenge! And you know what! We're over!" Malfoy said.

Okay. He's starting to sound a little like Fat Bob.

"You'll curse the day you ever met Draco Lucius Malfoy!"

Okay. Now he sounds_ exactly_ like Fat Bob.

"When you least expect it, expect it."

Whoa. Major dèjá vu.

Malfoy ran away.

Well, that was interesting.

Now I have to worry about Malfoy and Fat Bob getting revenge.

Great.

* * *

Okay, everyone. You know you want to review. So just click that little button down there. Please? 

Oh, I just remembered. If anyone has any ideas for something Ginny should do to Malfoy, tell me in a review. Cuz I got sick of the whole turning-his-hair-red-and-gold cuz I used it so many times. And the punching is getting boring.

Please review?

Love and kisses and pictures of Daniel Radcliffe,  
Jessi


	4. Kidnapped!

Hello again, trainee.

Sorry. I was just looking for something to watch on TV and that commerical for Mr. Meaty came on Nick. You know, the one with that guy saying, "Hello again, trainee."

So, contrary to popular belief, I'm not crazy.

Anyway, I'm dedicating this chapter to **pinkprincess** because she was the first one to review to my last chapter. Actually, she was the only one that reviewed to my last chapter, but who's counting?

Oh, one more thing. I'm not making fun of short people. In fact, I'm pretty short too. I'm only making fun of my imaginary character, Big Earl.

----------------

Really, I shouldn't have been surprised.

They both told me "When you least expect it, expect it."

And when would I expect it least?

Well, when I'm sleeping of course.

So when I wake up, I'm in some frigging place I've never seen before.

Without my wand.

Really, I don't know why I was so surprised. This wouldn't be my life unless something really sucky happened.

But, it is hard to not be surprised when you wake up and-- instead of seeing a nice, warm room and being in a nice, warm bed with your husband right next to you-- see a cold, dark dungeon where you're chained to the floor. Oh, and some wierd guy is standing there, staring at you.

So I did what any normal person would do in a situation like this.

I screamed.

The weird guy rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, shut up."

"Who the hell are you?" I asked.

"Oh, how rude of me," he said sarcastically. "I'm Big Earl."

Okay. What is with these names? First I meet a guy named Fat Bob. Um, hello. Fat Bob was almost anorexic.

Now I meet a guy called Big Earl. Big Earl looks like a six year old. Seriously. He's, like, three feet tall. But he can't be six because his voice is all deep and everything. And he has a beard. You find me a six year old with a beard.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"Malfoy Manor," he said.

Great. Malfoy kidnapped me. Isn't this great? It's just so frigging wonderful.

"My brother, Fat Bob, decided to help Malfoy with his plan," Big Earl continuted.

Fat Bob is his brother? That's just plain wierd.

"Fat Bob wanted me to help because that's what brothers do," Big Earl told me, either not realizing or not caring that I had stopped listening a long time ago.

I mean, really. It's very hard to listen to someone that talks about boring stuff in monotone. Seriously. He's talking like Professor Binns.

Big Earl kept talking.

And talking.

And talking.

And talking.

Please, just kill me now. I didn't know it was possible to be this bored.

But then something he said caught my attention.

"Malfoy's off getting ready for that wedding you two are gonna have," he told me.

Wedding? WEDDING?

I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that I was ALREADY MARRIED!

"He has to pick out your dress robes and his dress robes and the flowers and the music and..," Big Earl droned.

Okay, what? When did I agree to this? Did someone drug me and get me to say yes under the influence of crack? What the hell happened when I was asleep?

And even if I did agree to this-- which I would never in a billion years do-- what makes him think he's gonna pick out all the crap? What makes him think he's in control of my life? What makes him think I'll just meekly do his bidding?

WHAT MAKES HIM THINK I'M NOT GONNA BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HIM?

"Oh, hey, look, little lady," Big Earl said.

Um, little lady? I don't think so. I'm almost twice the size of him!

"Look," he repeated. "Malfoy's here."

Malfoy's here?

That little ferret-faced preening weasel is dead.

"You're dead," I told him.

"Now, now, Ginerva," he said. "Is that any way to treat your future husband?"

"I'm not going to marry you," I told him.

"Oh, really?" he said. "Guess you don't want your wand back."

He pulled out my wand and waved it in my face.

Now I would have grabbed it, but I was chained to the floor.

Damn chains.

"Mal- I mean, Draco," I said. "I'll might just decide to marry you willingly if you'll be a dear and give me back my wand."

Sure, I'm mentally vomiting. But you gotta admit, it's worth a try.

Malfoy looked surprised. I guess he didn't expect me to 'give in' that easily.

"Here," he said, handing me my wand.

I tried to get rid of the chains.

And guess what? It didn't work.

Damn.

Malfoy smiled. "Those chains can't be affected by magic."

Double damn.

Is there even such a thing as a double damn?

That was when I got very, very angry. I started screaming.

"LISTEN, MALFOY! IF YOU DON'T GET ME OUT OF THESE CHAINS IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS, I'LL BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!"

He just smiled. "I don't think so," he said. "You're still chained to the floor."

DAMMIT!

I couldn't think of a good comeback to that, so I just glared at him.

He laughed.

"What makes you think Harry won't come to get me?" I asked him.

"Because," Malfoy said with a smile. "I left I nice little note explaining where you went."

Um, what? Is he really that stupid?

"Would you like to know what the note said?" he asked. Without waiting for me to answer, he pulled out a piece of parchment and held it in front of my face.

_Dear Harry James Potter,_

_I have run away to marry Draco Lucius Malfoy. Don't try to find me. Goodbye._

_Sincerly,  
Ginerva Molly Weasley_

I started to laugh.

Malfoy glared at me. "It's not funny!" he claimed. "That idiot will definitly fall for it!"

I couldn't stop laughing.

"STOP LAUGHING!" he screamed.

I still couldn't stop.

I mean, it was just so funny. First of all, Harry knows I wouldn't run away to marry Malfoy. And second of all, why would I write everyone's full name? I thought the story was that I was running away. If you're running away, wouldn't you write your goodbye note as fast as possible?

And why the hell would I call myself Ginerva?

Don't even get me started on the handwriting. You could tell it wasn't my handwriting. I mean, the _i_'s were dotted with hearts! Hearts, for crying out loud! Why would I dot my _i_'s with HEARTS?

So Harry definitly knows that I'm either:

a) kidnapped

or

b) under the Imperius curse.

He'll be here sometime today. Because even if he really is as stupid as Malfoy says, there's still Lily. Lily is not a moron. She'll see right through the fake note.

Malfoy seemed to understand why I was laughing. He grinned at me evilly. "Don't worry, my dear Ginerva. I made sure that you'll have a Maid of Honor." He nodded to Big Earl. "Bring her in."

Big Earl went to get the Maid of Honor. Then he came back...

Dragging Lily right behind him.

So basically...

I'm screwed.

-----------------------------

Review! You know you want to!

Please review this time people. I want more than one review.

-Jessi


	5. Happily Ever After

Okay, everyone. This is the last chapter. Which means all my stories will be finished. YAY!

**_IMPORTANT! SO READ THIS!_**_ I am getting a new account. I want to delete the stories that I wrote that completely suck, but for some reason, some people like them. So I'll leave them up. But, my good stories, the ones I actually like, will be deleted, edited, and reposted under my new penname, _**_Shun-The-Nonbeliever_**_. This includes Nothing Like A Fairy Tale and this story. This story will be left up for a while so people know about this change. I looked at all the rules and couldn't find anything about not being allowed to have multiple accounts. But I'm only going to use one, so it's not like it even matters. This should take place in the next few days._

I'm sorry to anyone that likes President Bush. I had to take SOMEONE'S common sense away. I couldn't take common sense away from a dead guy. That wouldn't be nearly as funny. And I don't want to cause some kind of international incident by making fun of another country's leader. So I think I'll just make fun of MY country's leader...

This chapter is dedicated to both **Emmski** and **Rubber-duckiesofdoom**. They are the only ones that reviewed to the last chapter. Thanks you guys!

Now for the story! YAY! STORY!

* * *

Holy crap. The border thing-ys work for once. 

Um... right. On with the story!

* * *

"Dammit, Malfoy," I said. "I'm not going to marry you!" 

"Yes, you are," he replied.

"What makes you so goddamn sure that I will?"

Malfoy smirked at me. "Because," he said evilly. "If you don't, I'll kill your husband."

WHAT? He's going to kill Harry? What the hell is wrong with him?

_Ginny! Do you want your baby to use that kind of language?_

Uh, this is my subconscious, right? What the hell are you talking about?

_Don't tell me you forgot! You're pregnant!_

Uh, yeah. I totally knew that.

_Liar. If you had remembered, you wouldn't be acting so recklessly._

Um, how the hell can you forget you're pregnant? It's kinda hard. Cuz, you know, every time you get up to walk around, you're got all this dead weight right around your middle. If you didn't forget, you'd definitely remember in a hurry.

_Um, you do realize, you haven't put on any weight yet? You've only been pregnant for a little while._

So?

_Don't argue with me! I'm your subconscious! I know all!_

I'm telling you, I did not forget.

_I know you didn't. But the author wanted me to make sure everyone else remembered. It has been a while since she updated, you know._

What the hell are you talking about?

_Oh, look at the time. I gotta go. See ya._

Um, am I the only one that has conversations with my subconscious?

Really, really weird conversations that make me start to doubt my sanity?

But anyway, back to the current situation. What is wrong with Malfoy?

"There's nothing wrong with me, my dear Ginerva," Malfoy said.

Damn. Was I thinking out loud again?

_Now, now, Ginny, darling. Watch your language. What kind of example are you setting for your baby?_

Who the hell are you? You don't sound like my subconscious.

_Your subconscious is boring. The reviewers aren't too pleased with your subconscious, you know._

Why does everyone keep telling me about authors and reviewers?

_We're not allowed to tell you that. The author has forbidden it._

WHAT author? And how does the author know me?

_The author knows all. That's all I can tell you._

_The author knows almost as much as the Oracle. _

Um, okay. Who are you?

_I am your common sense, darling._

But my subconscious said that my common sense retired sometime before I married Harry.

_He did. I'm the replacement, darling. The mess your in, you're going to need all the help you can get._

_You know, I used to be George W. Bush's common sense? You know, president of the United States?_

If you used to be his common sense, what is he using now?

_Oh, darling, I'm not too sure. I retired when he was about ten._

Um, okay. Good to know.

_And so you don't get TOO mad at your subconscious, I'm the one making you think out loud again._

WHAT? I thought you were my COMMON SENSE! Not the LET'S-RUIN-GINNY'S-LIFE GENE!

_So I lied. I thought it might make you feel better._

"Ginerva, my dear? Are you all right? You seem to be having a conversation with yourself. I'm not sure that's healthy, but it IS hilarious," Malfoy said.

And this guy thinks he loves me? Normally when you love someone, you CARE about them! You don't think it's funny when they act like they've lost any sanity they may have once possessed!

Malfoy was spared from my fist when Fat Bob and Big Earl dragged in Lily.

Yes, dragged. She was struggling with them and everything.

Now, Lily's pretty strong, but not so strong that she can take down two dudes with her legs tied together and her hands tied behind her back.

They even gagged her!

What the hell is wrong with these people?

"Let her go!" I screamed.

Malfoy smirked at me. "Ginerva, I know I said that the Mudblood here could be your Maid of Honor, but I'm afraid I changed my mind. See, I don't want a _Potter_ to have anything to do with my wedding. You can either marry me right here and now, or watch your precious ex-mother-in-law die a slow and painful death."

Okay. What is wrong with this guy?

First of all, I am a Potter. If he doesn't want a Potter to have anything to do with his precious wedding, then he shouldn't be marrying me.

And what the hell is talking about? _Ex_-mother-in-law? I didn't get a divorce and Harry's not dead!

But after I pointed these things out to him, he just laughed. "Details, details. Marry me now, or watch her die."

Well, what choice do I have? Lily's not exactly alive, but I know she can feel pain. She can do anything a normal person can do, with the exception of dying.

If Malfoy tries to kill Lily, it won't work. But it will cause her a hell of a lot of pain.

So, I'm screwed. Marry him, and live a horrible life.

Or refuse to marry him, live a horrible life, and be forced to watch my family get tortured.

Either way, my life will suck. I'm not dragging Lily into this too.

"I... I will... I'll ma... marry... you," I said, choking on the words.

"Ginny!" Lily said. "What is wrong with you?"

"I have to," I told her. "I'm sorry..."

I trailed off. Was it just my imagination, or did I just hear someone scream the words "HARRY! LOOK! IT'S AN OWL! HOLY GUACAMOLE, IT'S AN ACTUAL OWL!"

I looked at Lily to see if she heard it too.

A faint smile was appearing on her face.

So it wasn't just my imagination.

I looked at Malfoy. He appeared to be extremely interested in a Muggle invention that Fat Bob and Big Earl were showing him. An iPot or a uPod? Or something like that?

Man, the guy's so anxious to marry me, but forgets about me after someone shows him a stupid Muggle invention that he claims to hate?

_Hey! That 'stupid Muggle invention' is an iPod! ONLY the greatest invention to grace human civilization!_

Well, whatever it was, it made noise and Malfoy was sticking the things that made noise into his ears.

Hey, I wasn't gonna ask. He was almost deaf while listening to the noise, so I knew he wouldn't hear the people coming.

I just hoped the people coming were Harry and James.

"YAY! IMMATURITY IS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING!"

If that wasn't James, then someone does a really good impression of him.

"DAD! WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET, SO WE CAN GET MUM AND GIN!"

"YOU'RE MAKING MORE NOISE THAN ME!"

"JUST BE QUIET! PLEASE!"

I would've laughed, but that would've blown their cover.

But really, I'm surprised they haven't been caught yet. They're SCREAMING at each other to be quiet.

How ironic is that?

Suddenly, something crashed into the door.

"OWWWWW!"

I looked at Malfoy quickly. He was still absorbed in the uPod.

_It's an iPod, you idiot!_

Whatever.

Fat Bob and Big Earl were fast asleep.

"DAD! YOU OPEN THE DOOR! DON'T TRY TO WALK THROUGH IT!"

Next to me, Lily was trying to not to laugh. Thankfully, she was succeeding.

The door opened. In walked Harry and James.

"Finally," I muttered.

Harry pretended to be hurt. "We come all this way to save you, and all you say is 'finally'? You're so nice, Gin."

"Just get these damn chains off of me," I said.

Harry laughed and waved his wand. The chains disappeared.

I stared. "How did you do that? I've been trying that for hours!"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know."

Next to me, James had finished untying Lily. He helped her up and started kissing her.

"Ew," I said, turning away.

"No amount of therapy will ever make this moment okay," Harry said as he looked away and helped me up.

And then he kissed me.

Which was, you know, very nice.

Until Malfoy finally realized that he had some extra company. Which took him a lot longer than it should have.

"Why are you kissing MY fiancée?" he screamed at Harry.

I sighed and pulled out my wand.

"Draco, Draco, Draco," I said as I walked towards him. "You've been a very bad boy."

Then I hexed him. Bat-Bogey Hex, of course.

"NO!" he yelled. "MY LOVE! YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!"

Then James seemed to remember something.

"Oh, right!" he said. "I have to do the countercurse!"

He turned to Malfoy and said, "_End-o spell-o_."

"Are you sure that's gonna work, Dad?" Harry asked.

"Hey! It worked last time! Remember?"

And James was right. It was working.

Malfoy glared at us as evilly as someone can when they have bogies flying around their head. "Get the hell out of my house, you filthy Mudbloods and blood traitors."

We were more than happy to comply.

And then, finally, after all the crap we went through lived happily ever after.

* * *

So? Did you like it? 

Read and review, cuz even if I am gonna delete this story, I still want to know if it was any good.

And remember, anyone that likes my writing for some unknown reason: **Shun-The-Nonbeliever**. There's a link in my profile.

Adios, people!


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